...since my last post.

1. I have more messy  people in my extended family than I ever knew I did. ( Aunt is a trouble maker who lives in the past and holds a grudge for  her nieces and nephews for stuff that our parents did when they were all growing up.   Cousin just got married, had a baby and came out of the closet...well actually got caught in it by her husband....and....)

2. My tolerance level for bs has increased in my "old" age. There was a time not so long ago where I would have told everyone that has irked me to just go f*&k themselves.  My how I have grown, now I just think it.

3. My husband just doesn't want to see the truth let alone deal with it. Go figure.

4. My brother In-law has always been, is, and will always be an ASSHOLE! And if I ever believed there was any hope for his wife to graduate from the chicken head level up to a real woman...you get where I'm going so I don't need to go there.

5. My stepson is a grade A screw up...GOTDAMMMIT HE'S STILL HERE!!!!!! SH!T! News flash kid  just because you tell a lie enough times doesn't make it true.  Drug tests don't lie you gotdayum pot head!

6.  I look really cute with bangs...it's also a great way to hide my full facial expression ( my eyebrows and forehead..ya know that one brow up thing or furrow of brow and forehead when someone says some really dumb sh!t and your face gives you away ...) anyway, I thought my mom ruined bangs for me as a kid and well WHO KNEW.  They're not just for 10 year olds anymore.

7. People who need to take criticism don't take it and they screw up big time and can cost you MONEY!!!!!!   I joke about a lot of things but I don't play with my MONAAAAYYYY!!!!  It's a wonder I haven't put a hurtin on a certain someone...WHAT A MORON!!!!!!

8.  My friends are...they just are.  I wonder why I talk to some of them at all  anymore.

9. I can't deal with anyone else’s drama anymore and I am going to stop answering my little cousins calls they are driving me CRAZY!  They are so friggin dense.  I swear they are whipped.  " LADIES...these jack offs that you call boyfriends are not the only men who can take you to the mountain top....MOVE THE HELL ON and stop calling me, crashing on my sofa everytime you get stressed, and just generally speaking STOP whining to me about this sh!t!  GET A GRIP.  If nothing else get a Blog. Get your sh!t off that way, trust it helps and you don't wear out your emotional welcome with the people in your life.  

10.  I really think I would be so much happier if I just broke out, got my own spot and visited my husband once a month...just to catch up. God he is so not present it's not even funny.

11. You always meet someone that you KNOW you would have fallen for and been more compatible with  AFTER you're locked down. What's even worse is when the dude has the balls to let you know he thinks you are AMAZING!!!!   Fate is a fickle bitch and if I ever catch her on the street I'm gonna kick her miscalculating ass!

12. RE 10 & 11 respectively...I'm either a glutton for punishment or a moral giant because I've got 101 reasons to be a cheating, creepin, backsliding chick and yet I'm not.  I expect  nothing less than the red carpet treatment when I get to heaven! 

So, it's been a funky couple of months.  I'm no worse for the wear but I am really in a twisted place.   I feel like I need to get seriously selfish.   I honestly think I'm headed towards a divorce.  Dear hubby is back to coasting and taking all his crap from work, kids , siblings, gas prices, GWB, low carb bread tasting like paper....out on me.   We have reached a crossroads and it's like this; if I stay I can either get good with the fact that things may never get better as he doesn't think anything is wrong, or rather he chooses not to deal with it. On the other hand I can leave and see what happens.  But at least that way I'm only responsible for me. The thing is I know he would still be in my life, but as a friend. I really do love him, I just don't like him as much as I used to.  Whoa, that's rough huh?    I feel like we should have just been friends.  As friends we're cool.  As husband and wife, we just do not jell.   In addition I don't know if I can take his family being fixtures and purveyors or constant grief in my life..ex. My in-laws(his sister and her youngins) notifying me that they are coming to town for a few days, stay a week and he's okay with it.  HELLO, I'm the lady of this house and I have no say in it?  Screw that, I don't pull that sh!t with my kin folks or let them pull that on me...us (I always consult him before letting my girl interupted cousins crash on our sofa).  So why should I have to take it?  They are nuts.  My sister In-law is passive aggressive. And one of her sons has serious anger management problems.  I'm talking head banging on the wall, locking himself in the bathroom while he talks about how much he hates everyone type st!t. Oh yea, the other kid is a closet pyromaniac...I swear people I couldn't make this sh!it up if I wanted to.  Yes it was a fun week!!!!  BTW, As they were leaving they notified me that they will be back this summer and staying for a few weeks...he thinks it's GREAT!   Uhhhmmmm.... F*&K THAT!!!!!!

Anyway, The girl is still raising hell just now she's doing it with the woman who bore her. But the a threat looms, she may be back.  I KNOW I can't take it.  Essentially it's me or them. Damn that sounds harsh.  But it is what it is.   My mother says that God is going to bless me because even though I feel the way I do I keep giving of my heart.  Why am I like this?  Damn my parents for raising me right!  When all is said and done, the only thing that I am ecstatic about is that in the midst of this madness that has become my life, I haven't lost me.  I guess if I had none of this mess would bother me right? Right!   And the beat goes on...