The fact that I got an 8 day break from my everyday in Sunny Fla.!  The trip was very much appreciated .  I would like to say that it was perfect...but when you take along a spoiled 17 year old young"man" perfection and gratitude is expecting way to much. 

Over all, I chose to enjoy myself inspite of his sour puss and funky attitiude.  The first leg of the trip, the wedding was...intersting.  It's funny how we think our problems and relationship issues are the worse, until we see people who get married with a bag of blatant NO NO's walking into it. I have never been to a wedding when I and many of the guests held out breath until the bride and groom both said " I Do".  That is some sad shit.  I have never been to a wedding where everything was staged and rushed.  I have never been to a wedding where the guests had a way better time and laughed and smiled more than the "Happy" couple. Well I say never until this wedding.  It's pretty bad when you find yourself sitting with other friends who flew in and all you can say is "GOD HELP THEM...They are in trouble" before, during and after the nuptuals take place.   I'll sum it up like this, if you can't be completely honest about the kids you have becuase your partner doesn't want to acknowledge them, then you have a serious problem.  And that is just the tip of the iceberg.  They are in my prayers.

Moving right along, the second leg of the trip was pure vacation, 5 days of chillaxing in a Villa, shopping, enjoying the company of good friends, great dinners, LOTS of wine and sunshine.  A few attractions added into the mix ofcourse, and I etched out time for self.  I've been back for a week and half and I'm still feeling a longing for where I was.   Keep in mind, my stepson and his manipulation, selfishness and ungratefulness did piss me off more than I wish it did, but in general I enjoyed myself.  My husband...for the most part he and I got along.  We're working on it, well I'm working on it and pulling him along kicking and screaming. 

I' ve been caught up with planning Thanksgiving, and I'm looking forward to it.   Hopefully this crappy weather we're having won't prevent my family and friends from making it here.  But even if it does, we will have a great dinner, and give thanks.    I keep telling myself that no matter how bad I feel things are in my little world , my troubles are so very minor in contrast to what is going on the real world.   As long as I keep that in my head and my heart I can genuinly give thanks.   And at the same time I can better appreciate the freedom of will that I have , and know that whatever it is in my life that doesn't make me happy or lift me up, I can change one way or another.  I think that if I forget that I can change a few things that directly impact me and where I am, I will  lose it.   But just knowing that there are choices I can make that can make me happier gives me a serious sense of dare I say, peace.  Granted, I don't feel it all of the time, but I am THANKFUL for the feeling some of the time.    

The power lies in loving yourself more than you expect anyone else to. That love can drive you to do awesome things if you let it.   I've always said it, and thought I got it, but I really really get it now and that feels pretty damn good.      I've got a lot of work to do on me, for me.  If everything else follows suit then great!  If not, at least I'll enjoy being in my own skin.  This simple realization is why I was able to really enjoy my vacation even with the negativity and annoyances.   That's a good thing!  I am really into this whole putting me back on top of my list of priorities. 

As for right now, I have got to find an ensemble for Thanksgiving that reads about 10-15 lbs lighter than I am and says " Welcome, I look fab but I'm comfy"  LOL . 

Speaking of Fab, I looked Fab at the wedding.  I don't think I've done formal/evening wear since my wedding.  Damn it felt good!!!